


Sleeplessness

by Rockstar_monkey



Series: there is no moon [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Bad feelings, Gen, Introspection, It’s in third person regardless of the summary, there is no moon, vaguely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 09:51:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13521729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rockstar_monkey/pseuds/Rockstar_monkey
Summary: Everyone has those nights. The nights where sleep is an intangible goal, and you’re too busy controlling your demons to try and achieve it. Sometimes that is a bit more literal than you’d like.





	Sleeplessness

        It was a muggy night, the final bits of summer hanging in the air, clinging to skin and stone and everything it could for as long as it could before the first chills of fall set in. It slowed everything down, from breezes that blew lightly, when they did blow, to people who felt the weight of the atmosphere dragging at their bones.  
        Kushina was on the roof of the house she lived in with Minato. She knew that if she were seen up there people would worry, but for all that she knew she came off as loud and (when people were feeling less generous) obnoxious, she was a ninja. She knew how to get by silent and unseen.   
        With a sigh, she leaned back on her elbows and tilted her head back to look up at the stars. For all that it was uncomfortably hot and muggy, the night was pretty close to perfect the stars shining bright and silent, impassive to the actions of humans but present enough to make any who saw them feel small. A couple of wispy clouds floated by lazily, you could only see them by the way they blocked out the stars. Kushina was sure there was a decent metaphors in there somewhere, but she was too tired to waste much brain power thinking about it.  
        There was no moon.  
        Unconsciously Kushina rested hand on her swollen belly, taking joy in feeling the life growing inside of her.  
        It did nothing to ease her bad feelings.  
        Originally, she had felt nothing but joy at the prospect of being a mother, and had devoted countess hours bragging and boasting to anyone who would listen. Even the Kyuubi’s growled insults and hateful mumbling hadn’t done anything to dampen her mood, and the annoying little fur ball had been as vicious as he had ever been.  
        However, as the months wore on and her belly grew, so too did sparks of trepidation. She shared these feelings with her best friend Mikoto, who had also been pregnant, though she recently gave birth. Mikoto had acknowledged her worries and attempted to soothe Kushina with tales from her first pregnancy, saying how she too had constantly worried, how she had irritated everyone with her plethora of emergency safety measures.   
        Kushina had left, trying to feel reassured, but niggling thoughts, intrusive, unwanted, and uncalled for, had told her that this was worse, was bigger, than pre-birth jitters.   
        Now, even the Kyuubi was subdued. Sure, he still snapped and growled when she poked at him, but it was halfhearted at best. She poked at him again, now, just for her own amusement. As though reading the direction her thoughts had taken, the Kyuubi put a bit more bite into telling her to fuck off than he had for the last couple of weeks.   
       The bad feelings had only gotten worse over time, had begun to feel more and more solid, almost tangible, but it seemed like she was the only one who felt it, the creepy insidious sense that everything was about to go wrong.

        Out of nowhere, she finds herself hoping that her son will have a good life, even if she’s not there to share it with him.   
        She’s shaken out of her wistful musing when a shudder of muted horror runs through her, and she is shocked still at what she had just been thinking.   
        But then her brain catches on one part, she’s suddenly sure, as sure as the sky as blue and that she loves Minato, that she’s going to have a beautiful baby boy.  
        She tries to focus on that good image, but she can’t help the frown that tugs her lips down from a grin when her mind turns to the rest of her thought. Suddenly, where before there was only joy to be had at the though of her son, there was now pained longing, wistful love, and anger. Anger that she couldn’t, didn’t want to explain, because to explain would be to examine and something told her that the the depth of this helpless rage ran just as deep, if not deeper than, the Kyuubi’s own anger.  
       Then Minato sits heavily beside her, and like a bubble has popped she is back on the roof, thoughts muddled and tired in a bone deep way. Only intangible bad feelings remain. For a second she almost reaches for the bad feelings, to take a closer look at them, but then Minato speaks.  
        “What’s wrong?”  
        Kushina shakes her head, forces a smile that becomes a lot less forced when she feels her child shift inside her, and feels helpless, devoted love at the sensation.   
        “Nothing,” she says, lifting her gaze to the stars. Something like nausea roils through her, and she works to repress a shudder as what feels like an omen darkens her soul. It passes, and she feels only love. “Just a bad dream.”  
        There is no moon

 


End file.
